so yesterday had to be the most emotionally messed up day ever. one moment it was great, the next it all crashed. all that then led to me having panic attacks all day today.
*sigh*
i'm just so tired. i think i'm going to have to withdrawal from my summer classes. i don't know how i on earth i thought i'd be able to do it. i've got too much going on... but this scares me because i think if i can't handle a couple easy classes during the summer, could i REALLY move out to Cali and live a life on my own? ugh... i've just got to get out. i'm so over it all. oh dear........... soon enough i suppose.
my mom threw a random question at me today that i can't get off my mind. there's a guy i've had a pathetic crush on for the past 2 years. i can't get him off my mind. maybe that's why none of my other relationships work. but he just graduated from college and is playing around with the idea of moving here. my mom asked me what i'd do if he moved here and started pursuing me.......would i then feel so led to move to cali? and really i have no idea. i mean i know that he probably won't move here and that he probably doesn't see me that way... never has... never will. so yeah, even though it'd be hard to move, i think i still would.
i wish i could tell my brain to shut up sometimes.
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