amazing friends

so yesterday/last night was probably one of the crappiest days/nights i've had in a long time. no need to go into vast explinations on it all, cause it's really just not necessary. but yeah... today started to be pretty blegh too, then i went out with "the 4" (minus 1) and it was freakin awesome. they knew i had had some pretty bad baggage in my life, but they didn't know to what extent. tonight i pretty much opened up and told them most if not everything. i have never been so embarrassed and yet felt so ok with everything at the same time. it was like for once in my life, i really felt accepted. it was like i needed that to fully feel like i was "healed". you know? i was just scared... i felt like if anyone heard that stuff about me they'd immediately go "oh my goodness... she's such a ___" and yeah, that freakin sucks. but it was so healing to know that i could share that, and they didn't see me as any different. so today turned out to be pretty darn good. i've learned a lot about myself within these past couple months.... heck... i've learned more stuff than i can count over this whole year. i feel like i'm a new person. i def. don't feel like i am the same person i was back this time last year! it's amazing! i loooove who i am now.
*happy sigh* life is good. i'm content. i have FREAKING AWESOME friends.
yay
in Christ always and forever,
Kendall

where has the time gone?

so all day today i thought it was monday... it's tuesday. woops. anyways... tomorrow evening is filled with stuff, and so is thursday night, and friday night....then my fam and i leave for disney, come home for all of like 2 days, and leave again. dude... where has the time gone?! i'm glad i'm almost done with packin, otherwise i'd probably be peein my pants right about now. i'm so ready to go it hurts. i love it here, i love my family, my friends, my church... all of it... but i'm just ready to go. i was talking to my friend the other day and i was telling him that i was so excited of getting this kind of, fresh start... you know? no one there knows me. no one knows my past... nothing... i am a blank slate in a lot of ways. i can become whom ever i wish to be. yeah... life is... interesting. ok well, since i haven't been able to sleep real well lately, i'm going to go pack some more. i'm so anxious... i can't quit tensing up my shoulders...... why am i so anxious?!