lots and lots

seriously can't let myself get distracted... i knew this would happen. i knew i'd get home and within a split second i'd lose it all.

it's funny how a few little words can rip you apart. i was already not feeling so good about my appearance today (i'm still not) and the first thing my manager said to me today was "you look bigger... did you gain weight?"

thanks.

then an old friend came to see me. it was great... a little nerve racking, but great... and i'm sure he could tell. i don't trust my feelings anymore and i get scared easily. i've got a lot on my mind and i just don't want to hurt anyone. 

ok... that's enough... more later.