young folks

i wasn't prepared for this. i always had a feeling something like this would happen, but i prayed it wouldn't.

i have 3 close friends from high school. we were practically inseparable during our high school years. as we grew up our short lived but strong friendships were tossed on the back burner as we all left for different colleges. long story short... and almost 2 years later... we were hanging out tonight. my friend Sally has always been a little bit wild. she is always thinking about something... though we never knew exactly what that is. she's a deep thinker. she likes asking questions and staying in the know of things, whether that be politics or her friends around her. Mike is sort of he same way, except he's studying to be a doctor, so he's very much into science. then there's Alex and I. Alex is still at home, but getting ready to head off to college. he's a musician and leads worship at his church.

so tonight. Sally was doing her typical thing... asking deep questions that we all had to really think about to answer. i always enjoy it... i like that i can have deep conversations with them, but that we always end up laughing and joking too... i can't handle deep conversations all the time. so tonight... Sally posed 2 questions, 2 questions i SHOULD have been able to answer... but couldn't...
1. How do we know the Bible is really 100% true. that it's the infallible word of God

and

2. how do we know Jesus is the Son of God.

i was stuck. i couldn't answer them. i tried my best... but the best i could come up with is that it's faith. but i felt like that was the biggest cop-out answer ever. she basically told us that it's not that she doubts there is a God... but how do we know he's sovereign? that he is who he says he is?

it's terrifying. i don't have answers... all i keep thinking is if i hadn't been raised in the church, if i wasn't a christian, and someone told me "it's faith" i'd probably be like "well i'm glad that works for you, but i'm good with all this..." i don't think i'd doubt there was a God... life is far too complex. but i'd probably be some sort of an extreme hippie. i'm so sick of not knowing. i'm tired of being lazy. i want so badly to find a good school. i want to have answers. i want to see the church rise up.