Gir

God has been teaching me so much lately... and really i know i have my friends to thank for helping me to allow God to challenge me. i think the biggest thing right now He's been challenging me with (though this may not sound big to some) is just to love who He has made me inside and especially OUTSIDE. basically, i knew i didn't feel pretty without make up on. i just began to really realize that that was something i had almost become "addicted" to. i say addicted because i don't know what else to call it. but i just knew that i did NOT feel pretty with out it. in fact i was slightly embarrassed to be seen without it. and i just knew that wasn't healthy. it was almost a slap in the face to God. he had MADE me this way... the way i look with OUT make-up. me covering my skin was almost like me saying "God, sorry, you just didn't do a good job." right... about that... so i stopped wearing it until i know in my heart of hearts that i can be happy and CONTENT with or with out it. part of the problem is really this was how i was brought up. appearance is huge in my family... especially with my Grandma. you just didn't leave the house without primping in some way... making sure your hair was right and you had your make up on and whatever else needed to be fixed and altered... i hate that. i honestly worried about trips i was going to make with friends... i was like "ok, what all do i have to bring and how am i going to put on my make up with out them thinking i'm obsessed?"hmmm... no... i don't have a problem at all.......

really though, i have brandon to thank for pointing all this out to me. He came over about a week or so ago and surprised me with breakfast when i woke up. 'io,9aq1`(that was Gir, my chinchilla running across my keyboard). so there i was, no make up, hair semi all over the place... and he thought i was beautiful. i didn't get it. in my mind i looked rough... i even made a comment about it, and he just said he actually preferred no make up... i still didn't get it. after he left i thought about it ALL day. i really came down to the conclusion that i had a problem. so i said "no thank you, i'll have no more of this" and stopped wearing it all... ok except for mascara... o:)

i really have this love/hate relationship with Brandon's boldness. when it comes right down to it, i love it and i'm extremely thankful for it. i really don't have anyone else calling me out like this, so i need it. i know he's really going to help me become an amazing woman of God. it's funny looking back at just within this short time we've known each other, what he's helped me with... he got me to go back to SES, he got me being more bold in witnessing to others, he challenged me and encouraged me to do better in school, he helped me learn (well, this is still in the process) how to see myself the way GOD see's me... not others, he convicted me about leaving my chinchilla in his cage all the time... hence him running across my keyboard ^_^ he gave me the courage to take on high school ministry when i didn't think i was mature/good enough/spiritually mature enough, he gave me sgy7 (that was Gir again haha) the courage to sing in the praise band again when i was so frustrated and hurt by it... and on top of all that, he taught me to long board :) i quite possibly have the best boyfriend ever. i just suck at verbalizing that... i've just never been in a situation like this... i've never had a boyfriend like him, let alone met a guy like him. this is all still so new to me... i'm trying not to freak out! haha... it's all so good though and i thank God for him every time i think about him...

so much more has been going on... God really has been challenging my lately helping me grow... it's hard and quite honestly sucks at times, but i'm so thankful for where i'm at in my life.

well, now that Gir has curled up in the corner, i think he's ready for bed... and so am i.

oh and incase you were wondering why i named him Gir, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r258Jca9e0A

i named him after the lil roboty character ^_^