i hate how little patience i have with living at home. i wish i could be thankful for what i have. but all i can see is the negative. my dad seems extra stressed lately, and I'm not sure why. maybe he's always been this way but now that I'm older, i am just more aware of it. he's never lashed out, but he just gets cranky and stressed and frustrated. and I'm tired of how messy/cluttered things are. that's really the biggest thing... it's just that the house is always a wreck and i alone can't keep up with it. now, granted, i know i don't have room to talk considering the condition of my room right now... but it's not a gross messy dirty, it's just clothes and stuff not in their place.
the longer i live at home, the more I'm seeing things in myself that i got from my parents... my impatience, my clinginess to objects (overly sentimental), messy, disorganized... but i also see the good. i def. got my love for giving from my parents, i got my free-spirit, and most importantly, i know i have them to thank for my passion for Christ. i don't want to know where I'd be if it weren't for them.
i think the other thing that makes this so hard, is that there is this part of me that so badly wants to grow up, but feels just held down by living at home. it's always the little things that get to me so badly... i guess that really this IS part of growing up... learning to be grateful and content no matter where God has you.
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