i've felt like dirt all day. well it's come and gone really... i basically have just felt tired and then for the last bit until i just got a shower i felt like i had been beaten up and/or ran over by a truck. but the shower helped. today has been really weird. i've had a lot on my mind. my mom and i talked a lot last night about this guy i like. i want to give him a chance, i hardly know him... yet i feel as if i've known him all my life. he's quickly become a great friend to me, and for all know this may be all that he is to me. we discussed "us" a little tonight and nothing has really changed between us. but i'm not satisfied yet. there is so much more i wish to know about him... for example...
what is his stand point on christianity and such?
does he believe the bible is 100% true (despite the fact that it can be really hard to understand)?
could he be a good spiritual leader to me?
i know i need to get the guts to ask him these things, but i'm scared of losing him. i can honestly say i've never met a guy like him. i've never laughed so much with one guy, felt so close, felt so free to talk to him... so free to be me. i don't want to lose him... but if he can't prove to me to be that kind of guy i know i need, then i guess... it wasn't meant to be.
i won't compromise again, but i sure as anything can't ask him to compromise either... i just really like him.
i will no longer deny my God, but i will deny myself for Him.
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