i'm growing up... im getting older... i'm saying goodbye and taking on a new life. today was raugh. i had to work all day alone in a lonely warehouse putting matboard away. my hands are cut up and my arms are sore. i talked to my mom some the other day about my body size and she said a good weight for me is probably 120... i weigh 140. then tonight when i was with my friends they freaked out and said i'd look anerexic if i lost that much... so who do i believe? then tonight i think it all really set in the fact that these are going to be some of our last nights together (my friends and i... Sarah, Aaron and Matt). it's really sad. infact, on the way home i cried. i turned on the radio cause i was too lazy to get out my ipod and the song was on by Daniel Powter called "you had a bad day"... it just kinda fit. i love my friends so much, it was hard saying g'bye just for this lil bit of time. sarah will be gone for a month, aaron for almost 2 weeks, and mat for a week. and me... here... i'll be working my tail off in both work and school and all the while trying to lose weight?! today was just depressing. not a lot went right... dinner made me feel all bloaty and gross, humidity screwed my hair over, the dance party was a flop, my shoes hurt my feet, my arms ache..... my friends are leaving. the few friends who i felt really accept me and never judged me and saw me and loved me.....*sigh* well at least we got one more night together before school starts... not sure how many more of these we'll have. so that was nice, and we did have a good time... i think i just killed it for myself because i couldn't get my mind off of the inevitable future. i also got a new very spiffy digital camera today. i like it. i've got to mess with it some though and figure out the settings and such. tomorrow i have to wake up early to do homework. i wish i could wake up early and go take pictures, but alas... my life revolves around school...ugh.
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