power of prayer

all i can do is sit here in awe at how amazing God worked everything out in my life. i seriously do not even know how to put into words how... joyful, i am. but, i will try to explain...

not long ago i was letting go of friends who i thought were good for me, but were only pulling me down. i sat on my bedroom floor crying and praying wondering how I'd make it through this tough time. I'm not good alone. i seriously start wigging out. I've been praying that God would bring friends along who i could be a part of something big with, some sort of ministry. a group of friends who lifted me up and saw things the way God has taught me to see. not to say I'm perfect or see things exactly right, but just a group of friends who would have a similar heart as mine. similar passions... and I'm seriously shaking my head in awe at how God has done JUST that. i met this kid Will about a week ago through a mutual friend of ours. he invited me to come hang out with his friends one night at their place. i was honestly really hesitant for the first time in my life. i don't know why, but I've never been so nervous to hang out with a group of people i didn't know in my entire life. but I've never felt more comfortable around a group of people as i did that night. as we all sat there in a circle laughing and talking about life i couldn't help but realize that i was among good people and good company. they all welcomed me in so whole heartily. and then tonight, we all hung out again.........

today was by far one of the strangest days I've had in a long time. i woke up feeling fine. but as my day got going, i just felt, off. like something was wrong or like i had forgotten something but couldn't remember. and then as the day grew on, it turned from a curious feeling to a panicked feeling. i came home from being with a good friend of mine and i called my mom and i literally stood in my kitchen and cried on the phone to my mom. i was terrified. i hadn't felt like this in a long time... the last time i felt like this was when i was on a mission trip and there was a spiritual war-fare going on around me. all i had asked my mom was "have you ever had days where you just felt like something was wrong, but you couldn't figure it out?" and all she said was "yes... like today" that was when i started crying, because she felt the same way. i KNEW something wasn't right but didn't know what. so i packed up my bag and just got out of my house as fast as i could. something was NOT right, but i didn't know. as i drove home i prayed and cried asking God to free me from this, to protect me and my family... and by the time i got to my parents house i felt like i could finally breath. i came in and sat on my parents couch and then before i knew it, all was calm and i felt fine. and then... Will called me. everyone was going to go hang out again. and i can't lie, i got way more excited than i needed to be, but i was stoked that they all wanted to hang out with ME again. because I'm ridiculous, i don't make sense and i have a strong heart. i know what i believe and I'm not afraid to stand up for it. OK that's not always true. but I'm getting better at it..... but i have a strange sense of humor and a huge heart for God and people and i seriously just feel like i'm such a weird mix of things that it does NOT make sense....... but anyways.... we all hung out again tonight. and i can NOT tell you how amazed i am at all this. God literally has answered my prayer in almost exact detail. and the thing is, even if God chooses to take this away from me too, i can look back and laugh at the memories, i can be thankful for that break and that moment to breath and be with good people. the ability to see that there ARE good people on this earth... there are solid Christians who ACTUALLY GET IT. and i can let go and trust that God will take care of me and be truly thankful for Him blessing me with these awesome moments.

because truly, all i need is Him.