goodbye

so i really dislike saying goodbye. today was my last sunday at my home church. it was really hard saying goodbye to some people. some of the goodbyes were awkward and some of them didn't seem adiquit (sp!?). it was like it was surreal ya know? my friend Sara C. and i decided that we feel like we're just going away on a long camp trip or something and that we'll be coming home soon. but no... CIU will be my new home for the next 9+ months of my life. i'll make new friends who will be like my new family. i'll have to share a room and learn to keep things clean. hahaha... it's going to be amazing. i can't wait to go... i really can't. though i was informed that i will be able to go to my college bible study this friday night, so that will be greeeaaat! i'm glad i can. good chance to say one last g'bye. there's a huge part of me that just wants to break down and cry. but i don't think i will really cry until i have to wave g'bye to my parents as the leave me at ciu. wow... that's going to be... i don't want to think about it, it makes me want to cry. anyways.... church was amazing... most just the worship. i've noticed lately how much of a passion i have for worship music... but yeah i REALLY like this song, i like broke down when we sang it today. it's my cry to God, my plea, my want, my heart... lately i've just felt lost. kind of feeling like "God why am i going to ciu again?! oh right, cause you want me there... wait... why though?!" i should never question Christ. it's just i so desire to know what he wants for my life. and the whole leaving my comfort zone is scary and just everything that is related to my leaving...... so this is currently my anthem...

hungry I come to You
for I know You satisfy
I am empty
but I know Your love does not run dry
so I wait for You
so I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

broken I run to You 
for Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch restores my life 
so I'll wait for You
so I'll wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait for you
and I wait

I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for
Oh, I'm falling on my knees
offering all of me
Jesus, You're all this heart is living for

hungry I come to you,
for I know You satisfy

hmmmm........

things i want to do when i get to CIU:
1. meet new people
2. get in shape
3. learn a lot and make good grades
4. find an awesome church
5. talk my parents into letting me get my nose peirced ;)
6. grow closer to Christ
7. find out what God has called me to do

yeah... i think that's a good list of things to do... and notice i didn't put "get married" or "find a boyfriend" hahaha.... that's not important right now. i will be more than happy if i meet an awesome guy and start dating or whatever... but i need to just focus on Christ and myself (i know sounds conceded... but i think a part of me has always focused on others and for once i want to just put my complete focus on Christ and figuring out who i am and what makes me happy and what defines me as a person).
the frey rocks
so does BEP
and journaling
g'night... time for bed, i've got a busy day tomorrow
in Christ forever and always
- Kendall