today which is really now tomorrow

Today I got to sleep in until 1:30 and dang that was amazing hahaha... I basically did NOTHING of any significant value to my life in any way. But wow... I needed that. Anyways... I realized today that I want to travel BADLY. I want to see the world, go everywhere I can. I’m not scared of the unknown or of how I will be living in it. Like I said to my friend the other night, I don't care if I have to stay in hostels or even in my car... one day I’m just going to go and see the world. I watched a couple chick flicks tonight and this quote kind of sums things up... "Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don't have to live for ever, you just have to live." - Tuck, from Tuck Everlasting. That’s just it... I do not fear death, at all. I know where I’m going... I really just fear the unlived life. God has made a magnificent place and I wish so much to explore it. I feel as if for my whole life, I’ve lived in well... a bubble... but I don't think I’ve really had a choice. My family was never rich, so it's not like we could have afforded to travel. And I could not have gone anywhere until now because of my age. I’ve really only been up and down the east coast, and to Brasil. I wish to go further, see more, take pictures... but what about God's will? What does God wish for me to do? I know one day he will show me, but I am impatient. But as far as I’m concerned, as long as I live in his perfect will, I will be content. Something else I realized that has to do with God's will... I don't know if I can ever really date someone again until I figure out God's will for me (my will for my life would be to marry a ferociously good looking, wealthy, and completely sold out Christian man who I can spend the rest of my days traveling with, taking pictures and witnessing all along the way... ah yes... but that is MY will). Because I KNOW God wants me in the ministry, but where, when, and to what extent... I have no idea. And I can't really be with someone unless he can fit in that "will" for my life... can I? But I think, really, I’m ok with it. I only want the best, but who wouldn't? So for now, I stay single and pray... pray for God's comfort, his strength, his guidance, his will... and one day, it will all truly work out for the best and I’ll have never been happier... so to quote a great tale "Until the day when God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these 2 words 'wait and hope.'" - the count of Monte Cristo

G'night