i guess all days can't be good... i didn't make it to the gym today which has become my obsession... in a healthy kind of way. i'm not pushing myself too hard... i had just forgotten how much i truly love swimming. so yeah... didn't get to do that. and then i had to go buy my school books which is just depressing. and then, i chose to make a poor decision... basically i sinned. i wish i didn't struggle with this "thing." i know we've all got our own proverbial demons, but i can't shake these loose... and sometimes i don't think i want to. then later i... wow i'm embarrassed... i hit one of those road cones, but not a cone, a freakin' barrel. i hit it with my side mirror and it smashed the poor thing up. luckily it just obliterated the actual mirror part, but the whole thing itself is ok. it was already scratched up from the time it was stolen. my car doesn't stay aligned very well for some reason, so even though less than a month ago i had it realigned, it likes to vear off to the right. brilliant. so then i got pissed thinking God was disciplining me for my poor choice today. then i got even more mad at myself out of embarrassment... which spawned more anger realizing i'm acting just like my father... then i cried... and let go.
the bible study i visited was... well... just more of a vent session. i'm a little frustrated and wish there was more actual teaching instead of just a "what do you think" type of discussion. last time i checked it was called a BIBLE STUDY. not a "lets pick a book and talk about it" study. oh wait... aren't those called book clubs???
ok... so today basically was not so great. but, it's time for bed, and sleep is amazing for crankiness.
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