wow...

hokay so, i haven't updated this in obviously QUITE some time. a LOT has changed. i'm not even the same person since last time i wrote here. without all the gory details, i'll just basically put it this way, i went down into a pit, rolled around for a while, came home, mommy and daddy fussed at me for playing in the mood and going into a pit. i realized how much of a fool i looked, got a shower, and started over.
i'm intending on using this blog to post my most blunt thoughts here. i find myself just wanting to vent to someone about life, but not really, all at the same time. i don't want to hurt peoples feelings, but at the same time i want people to understand how i think, why i think the way i'm thinking, and how i feel this affects not just myself, but mostly the world around me. people these days don't THINK! they just act. it's foolish and irrational. granted, i highly enjoy being spontaneous myself, but to a degree. not saying i'm any better than anyone else, i think it's just i'm noticing that even i don't think about what i'm doing at times. i don't think about how i'm spending my time, or why i'm pursuing (or not pursuing) certain things. i'm still noticing how immature i am. i mean, granted, i'm slightly more mature than your average 19 year old, i still have my faults. it's not that i don't like to be "young" and carefree (if you will), it's just i'm over the highschool drama. i graduated 2 years ago... and i'm quite content leaving all that blegh drama icky poopiness behind.
so, with that said, if you found this blog, lucky you? not that i'm hiding it, i'm just not putting it out there...