dogs and owls

It's hard to deny the fact that I want to run.........


it's 3:04am on a cool spring night. i left my window open... the neighborhood dogs are barking at the owls. i should sleep... but this quiet evening... this moment alone... it's so rare, yet so very welcomed.

i'm strong enough to fight these on going issues in my life. but i need nights like tonight... moments alone to think and pray to get through them.

i wish i knew how to brush off harsh words. how to not let others affect me... how to find that balance between being humble and respectful, yet bold and proud.

i just can't help but wonder sometimes why God made me the way i am. why he gave me the eyes he gave me. i see things different than most, but not all. i'm grateful for the few i know and call my dear friends who can relate. they remind me that i'm not insane and not alone. i guess this is just yet another lesson i'm learning. something that God is showing me so that i can continue to be the woman he wants me to be for who knows what reason.

one day i'll be a mother, that's a terrifyingly fulfilling thought. but through these trials i'll have learned true mercy and patience. how to communicate and look at things through the eyes of someone else. and maybe, just maybe, my kids won't struggle as much as i have.


but if they're anything like me......


i pray God shows them the same mercy he showed me all these long years.