sixty some more years

as i sat in my car praying... the thought that i may only live (if all goes well) sixty some more years was terrifying. what i will see and hear and experience will leave me changed in those years. i'm continually growing.

so what will i do with these some odd sixty years? how will i leave the world speechless? how will i change those around me for the better? who will i be? what will i become? i guess i can't worry about it. God's timing is ridiculous. He will show me what i'm to do.

but as self-centered as this may sound, i've always felt like God was calling me to more in life than just the norm. if only i could figure that out. i know what i'm passionate about and i know where i'm gifted, but what do i do with those things?

i love people. i love love music and i can sing. i love art and traveling. i love to make people happy...... maybe i should be a musician. but how and when and where and to what extent... i'll never know. it's hard to get into the music scene. well i guess it isn't too hard... but people are mean and selective. and quite frankly i'd really rather not sing in a worship team ever again. though God is funny and i know i'll some how find myself back in one one day.

i think it'd be cool to be a tattoo artist too... except i can't draw... hahaha... that's kind of important.