seriously.

I'll never understand why i fret so much and worry when God has sworn to us his love. told us not to worry. told us of our worth. and yet, i still find myself freaking out trying to figure things out. all i can do is imagine God just sitting next to me waiting... thinking "seriously kid, any time you want me to help you out i will, but you've got to trust me."

all I'm saying is I'm glad i journal. cause I've been able to go back and read how God has worked out my messes into beauty and I'm always left laughing at how awesome God is. it honestly just makes me laugh. because i can so easily recall how i felt during that bleak moment... thinking that there was no hope, that it was NOT going to end well... and then God turns it all around and I'm left speechless and amazed.

seriously, i love my God.




lately I've been having horrid dreams. and i really don't know why. but I've been honestly scared to go to bed the past couple nights scared I'll wake up in a panic again. dreams of friends dying and being chased by angry mobs. dreams of being lost in the amazon forest running for my life from abnormally large animals. swimming in the ocean about to be eaten by a shark. i keep praying for good dreams, and some nights God blesses me with them and lets me sleep peacefully, and yet others they sneak in and i wake up in a panic. i wish i knew what has triggered them. i don't normally have bad dreams.


my imagination is too big for it's own good.


and i really can't deny the fact that I'm ready for the new year.


and February 10th... i get my 3/4 sleeve then ^_^